EGO, THOU SHADOWY SELF, CAUSE OF SUCH SUFFERANCE ... 1

How hard it is to give up the ego! How many buffetings of life, how much suffering at the hands of the near ones makes one loosen the grip! Alas, man, bound in ignorance as it were, has nowhere to stand on save the ego, this his shadowy shifting self where he seeks security even as he is hurtled by the forces of Nature and beaten to bits till good sense prevails and he sees in his awakened consciousness that all this has been but a nightmare where the non-self has been chaotically whirled while serene sat the Self all along, his real being, his existence absolute. But to arrive at such a realisation takes often lifetimes as primeval ignorance does not let go of the soul in phenomenal bondage and the fetters continue to bind it in the mire of matter whence seemingly there is no escape. Such is man's predicament through life after life as shadows form the substance of his insubstantial self and he chases the mirage of Maya cyclically, experiencing his quota of joy and woe.

Every experience leaves behind on his mind a mark which forms the body of sanskaras and the resolution of work and such past mental impression charts out the course of his evolution. The sanskaras self-resolve to lend a person his pronounced attitudinal tendency which is his character. Action proceeds from this habitual leaning of man as is borne out by his character and action proceeds from his secret longing for freedom, as yet a mood uncertain and unsettled in terms of conscious awareness but, nevertheless, beating down the corridors of his subliminal consciousness in an unobtrusive, yet, consistent manner, although, shrouded as yet by a myriad desires giving it an alternative shape. The soul is as yet in the slumbering state and mistakes such call of the Self as the impulsion to the fulfilment of desires which it now wholeheartedly pursues knowing it to be the object of his terrestrial existence.

Caught in the mire of material existence, man thus ventures out into the world of external exploration, the gratification of the senses and the puerile pursuit of phenomenal pleasures. The result is a hollowness of being, a frustration by way of final fruition of desires and constant collision with the conflicting elements in life leading to a sense of purposeless emptiness which makes life a misery. The secret of living is yet to be unravelled even as the sacred formulas are yet to reveal. Life, insipid and uninspired, continues by old inertia as suffering mounts on the muted mind incapable of finding a way out of the quagmire of earthly existence. Yet, he holds on to his ancient friend, the ego, which also remains faithful to him as the twain traverse through the terrain of terrestrial turbidity. The soul suffers endlessly and it seems there is no mercy in a devil's world where justice and fair-play are misnomers and selflessness and true love attributes in the letter alone.

And then comes the Guru. He, the benevolent one, out of infinite compassion discovers for the disciple the way out of his hideous existence on earth and in an act of pure grace delivers the deluded soul from the Bastille of bondage to the lush meadow of freedom.

... to be continued