EPISTLE IN REFLEXIVE MODE

EPISTLE IN REFLEXIVE MODE

Your indifference is my insult. And I will avoid such loss of self-respect by all means. That would be minimum manhood in me if I have any left of it. I remain forever beholden to you, nay eternally indebted, for the sublime service you have rendered me. No one has done so much. But the lukewarm response as well that you have habituated me to receiving has proved the Sanskrit saying on parigraha true. I will make amends forthwith. God bless you and yours forever!

It is never too late to rectify and I will rectify myself. Thakur-Ma-Swamiji remain the only ones who have never left me even for a moment and I shall reciprocate them their love in less than equal measure but to my best capacity.

This world is false as the scriptures say and to live in shadow for much more than I have lived is going to open the gates of degeneration utterly for me. The nadir have I reached and henceforth it shall only be the upward incline. May God grant you health, happiness and peace for all you have done for me!

Yesterday I wrote a few lines but deleted them remembering the line of the Geeta that says, "The devotee of God is neither disturbed by any nor does he disturb any." But today again I was subject to the same casual indifference and the words flowed out. Do not feel disturbed by them but accept them as my sincere feeling in wounded terms. Who after all consistently over decades loves to be thus neglected in human social intercourse as I have from so many through doubtlessly some ingrained fault in me? But time always affords us the opportunity to alter stance, take a fresh guard and carry on with our earthly innings in a more moderated, uplifting way. So shall I and to the benefit of all.

Life keeps changing colours and contours and man scarce can keep changing with it. Adaptation has its limits. The human species is best at it, hence its capacity to survive. But the organic mode has its limitations and so have I. With advancing age and accruing experience one wishes to seek refuge within oneself, away from the ravages of time, apart from the moods of the multitude. One seeks peace, peace that, Biblically speaking, passeth understanding. The shadows lengthen and it is time to go home. So, a lot of packing is to be done, winding and unwinding the best and worst vestiges of this earthly sojourn. Adieu! Peace be to you, peace unto all! 🕉